One of the common areas I work on with my coaching clients is the struggle with their 'inner critic'. You know, that critical, unhelpful, voice inside your head that usually gets really loud when you’re about to undertake something new, something challenging, or moving out of your comfort zone. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re not good enough, that you’re going to make a fool of yourself, that you don’t belong, [insert your own unhelpful criticism here]. This voice often paves the way for what we recognise as imposter syndrome.

 Today, I'd like to share three insights, coming from my coaching and workshop experience, on how to manage your inner critic effectively.

Insight 1: You're Not Alone

One of the fundamental truths to understand about the inner critic is that it's a common experience. In workshops, one of the most empowering “AHA” moments often comes when participants realise that their feelings of self-doubt are shared by others. Most of us experience imposter syndrome at some point in our lives.  Often the most successful, outwardly confident people can experience extreme self-doubt. Research shows that men and women experience imposter syndrome equally, however if affects them differently. While men might experience it, they will push forward regardless, whereas for women it can really hold them back and get in the way of their success.

Insight 2: Befriend Your Inner Critic

As much as we would like it to be the case, it’s unlikely that we can simply silence our inner critic forever, replacing it with a continuous stream of positivity.

A more realistic and constructive approach is learning to manage it. Acknowledge its presence, question how much of what it’s telling you is fact, and develop ways to dial it down. Positive affirmations can often be really helpful here in replacing the inner critic with a more positive inner voice. Most importantly, don't let it stop your progress and prevent you from going for the things you really want to achieve.

One of the strongest actions you can take to build your confidence, and manage your inner critic, is to own your achievements. Keep a record of your accomplishments, and alongside each accomplishment note the specific actions you took to achieve it. Perhaps you put yourself forward for the opportunity, or worked extra hours, or persevered when you felt like giving up. By doing this, you’ll realise that your success is rarely achieved through luck. You’ll start recognising your role in your achievements, and over time, you'll find it easier to "own" them. This is really important in understanding that you deserve your success, and in quietening that inner critic. 

Another point here is to realise and appreciate what you have achieved so far, rather than be constantly focused on the next goal.  Give yourself the time and space to congratulate yourself for what you have achieved, before setting off in pursuit of your next goal or milestone.

Bottomline:

Our inner critic will likely always try to make its voice heard, especially when we're about to take on new challenges or opportunities. By understanding that we all experience it from time to time, by having strategies to manage it, by making sure we own our accomplishments, we can learn to manage its influence. These insights have proven helpful in my coaching and I hope they help you too.

The most important thing is that your inner critic doesn’t stop you from moving forward. Here's to turning that inner critic from a hindrance into a motivator, propelling you towards continued growth and success! 

Contact me to find out more about the  'On Purpose' Development Program for Women, where we'll delve deeper into this topic, as well as other important topics like strengths, resilience and purpose.